This is a picture of my dad with my mother and their friends from back in the day. This might be photographic documentation of my father's first shout from the mountain.I sort of like to think of Ray as the original "smack my dad talks" - I just wasn't clever enough to tweet Ray's rants. So here he is, unfiltered - meet my dad.
By the way, when he emailed me he called this thing "your blob". Oh dad!
When I was growing up, words , their usage and origins were regular topics of the day. “Look it up in the dictionary” was heard about as often “wash your hands before dinner” and “because I’m the Mom and I said so”. With that as the background, I went in search of the etymology of the word ‘summer’ and I’ve discovered it’s Native American- quite possibly Cree- for “season of noisy shoes”.
Honest to God, the incessant flippity-floppity of the damn flippity-flops is about to get my very last flippin’ nerve.
Flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop all day? Really? If you wear them to make sure people hear you when you’re coming towards them, a vuvuzela or a kazoo is more effective and a shit load less irritating.
I’d also like to call bullshit on ‘these aren’t flip-flops they’re sandals’ response. If they look like flip-flops, and sound like flip-flops, they’re flip-flops period and I don’t give a damn if they have rhinestones and or not.
At work, casual Fridays (now becoming casual everyday) is not code word for making your coworkers want to eat a bullet. I’ll bet if you passed a law that said if your work place allows flip-flops then people could smoke wherever in the hell they wanted to, you’d put an end to this. Wait! I got it! How about copying the NYC model and you have to pay an $11.00 (with taxes the average price of a pack of smokes in Manhattan) per day fee to wear flip-flops in public? Billions could be raised, foot disease wiped out, no more homicidal/suicidal co-workers, reduction in carbon footprint, Gulf oil spill cleaned up, cancer as we know it would be wiped out, all children would be educated. Ok, the last four may be a little over the top, but you get my point.
Speaking of smoking, I’m thinking of tearing a page out of the anti-smoking lobbys’ playbook and having buttons printed that read “Yes I mind if you flip-flop”.
Honest to God, the incessant flippity-floppity of the damn flippity-flops is about to get my very last flippin’ nerve.
Flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop all day? Really? If you wear them to make sure people hear you when you’re coming towards them, a vuvuzela or a kazoo is more effective and a shit load less irritating.
I’d also like to call bullshit on ‘these aren’t flip-flops they’re sandals’ response. If they look like flip-flops, and sound like flip-flops, they’re flip-flops period and I don’t give a damn if they have rhinestones and or not.
At work, casual Fridays (now becoming casual everyday) is not code word for making your coworkers want to eat a bullet. I’ll bet if you passed a law that said if your work place allows flip-flops then people could smoke wherever in the hell they wanted to, you’d put an end to this. Wait! I got it! How about copying the NYC model and you have to pay an $11.00 (with taxes the average price of a pack of smokes in Manhattan) per day fee to wear flip-flops in public? Billions could be raised, foot disease wiped out, no more homicidal/suicidal co-workers, reduction in carbon footprint, Gulf oil spill cleaned up, cancer as we know it would be wiped out, all children would be educated. Ok, the last four may be a little over the top, but you get my point.
Speaking of smoking, I’m thinking of tearing a page out of the anti-smoking lobbys’ playbook and having buttons printed that read “Yes I mind if you flip-flop”.
Now that, in my book, is a serious blob post. Serious. Post. Blob. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dan! Let's get dad to share his dangerous thinking with the rest of the world!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the upcoming wedding!